Most of my friends reckon that I make much ado about anything related to makeup.
It would be a different scenario if I was an outrageous celebrity like Madonna – then ill-applied makeup would be the least of my problems, as my coned bra would be the attracting most of the attention. But I am just a mere mortal, and I'm subject to the same rules that every in-store makeup artist tries to drum into the mindset of every woman who sits in a precariously high chair at a makeup counter.
From blushers, to tweezers, to eyeliners and more, from lipliner to Gelish and swabs galore, I have navigated these items to finally map out a combination that works for me – so pay special attention to the following. It's a public service announcement to all women: the most basic of makeup tips to make you look... well, better than you looked before.
I begin this once-foreign process by applying Bobbi Brown concealer under my eyes – sadly a misspent youth has rewarded me with huge bags under my eyes. Given the fact that I am a brown berry, I have learnt to shy away from foundation as it renders me a rather grey hue – not very appealing, and makes my face look like it doesn't match my neck. However, I do use Clinique Even Better Skin Tone Correcting Lotion SPF 20... Over time this gives me an even tone, but I guess that the name of the product gave that away!
I then apply an eye shadow – I select a colour that appears a slightly shinier shade of my actual skin – subtle but impactful. Then things start to get trickier: I apply Maybelline Colossal Volume Express Mascara. This takes a while, but I eventually get it done.
I move on to my cheekbones and apply a MAC Strobe Cream. I feel so grown-up doing this. I'm 32, but please reserve judgement – some of us are late bloomers. It's important to note that you should apply this product sparingly, or you'll end up being the punchline of many an office joke.
I conclude the ritual with a light lip-gloss by Clinique and then I'm good to go and conquer the world! Well, until I've rubbed and smudged the mascara across my left cheek and look like an American football prepped for the game with face paint. On the plus side, I only realise this much later in the day, and by that time I blend in – plenty of makeup catastrophes have happened to my coworkers, too.
And here ends my makeup lesson for dummies. Good luck, beginners!