Awards season ended with a glittery, musical bang. Here the major lessons, and laughs, from the night.
The booty backlash has begun
2014 may have been Year of the Bun, hun – but awards season red carpets have been all about the boobs. Need proof? It doesn’t come any better than in the form of the goddess known as JLo herself. She Who First Made Booty a Thing (step back Kim K and Nicki Minaj) rejected the rearview in favour of the front, and wore a plunging Elie Saab creation to Sunday’s ceremony – a gown only outdone by the glittery cleavage-baring number she donned at the Golden Globes. Still, we’ll wait for proof in the form of a boob-inspired hit featuring Snoop Dogg before we crown 2015 the Breast Year Ever, shall we?
Colour is more than a fashion statement
The SAG awards made history when its lead television gongs went to Viola Davis and Uzo Aduba, both fabulously talented women of colour. So what was up at the Oscars? Out of its 127 nominees only nine were not white, and only 25 were women. A fact so obviously backward, that host Neil Patrick Harris opened the show with the zinger, “Tonight we celebrate Hollywood’s best and whitest, sorry… brightest”. Everyone walking, and watching, the red carpet was united in one feeling: it’s time the academy got its act together.
Jennifer Lawrence makes everything more fun
And we’re not even going to mention the comedic value of her repeated, erm, ‘power’ trips. But without her there, this year’s show was missing that special kind of klutzy charm – c’mon, no other celeb is as honest about how much they’re dying for pizza! She’s got to be back next year, even if we have to to carry her in ourselves. (And let’s be honest: that’s probably safer for everyone involved, anyway.)
There is such a thing as cute couple overload
This year’s awards shows were packed with them. Justin Theroux laughed adorably with Jennifer Aniston, Beyoncé and Jay-Z lit up venues everywhere, and who could forget the Golden Globes moment George Clooney told Amal, “I couldn’t be more proud to be your husband.” (Jealous? Us?). But if there was an Academy Award for cuteness, it’d go to Chris Pratt and Anna Faris. Both looked Oscars phenomenal and were so funny, down-to-earth and clearly in love that you’d hate them if you didn’t just want to hug them so much.
Barney Stinson looks just as good in a birthday suit
In a cheeky reference to a scene from Birdman Neil Patrick Harris (who also played How I Met Your Mother’s well-suited Barney Stinson), stripped down to his underwear. His famous line may have been to suit-up but, woah, there’s good reason to enjoy him suited down too.
Women won’t stand for less
In her speech, Patricia Arquette called for equal pay across genders. And, in an instant that perfectly summed up women’s feelings everywhere, the camera cut to Meryl Streep and Jennifer Lopez whooping and clapping loudly before sharing a very meaningful look. Hollywood execs take note: Queen Meryl’s eyes have spoken. Change best be approaching fast.
Lady Gaga shocked like never before
Thankfully that didn’t involve meat dresses, faceless slaves bearing her into the ceremony or giant eggs. Nope, it was a whole lot more unexpected – Gaga finally embraced less is more. While performing a Sound of Music medley, she shone in a simple white dress and – shockingly – just allowed her incredible vocals to carry the performance. A standing ovation from the celeb-packed audience, and Julie Andrews then pronouncing ‘Lady Gaga’ like a royal title, cemented it as one of the starriest moments ever.
Music rocked the night
Neil Patrick Harris drummed up the laughs with playful musical comedy singing, “Check out the glamour and glitter/ People tweeting on the Twitter / And no one’s drunk and bitter yet ’cause no one’s lost”. Tegan and Sara belted out a crazy-joyful version of The Lego Movie’s ‘Everything Is Awesome’ with The Lonely Island (and handed out Lego statuettes to the audience, making Oprah grin from ear to ear). But it was John Legend and Common’s performance of ‘Glory’ that produced the most moving part of the evening, leaving us with star-shaped goosebumps long after they took a bow.
Julianne Moore finally won an Oscar, and our hearts
After four nominations, the talented actress finally took home the award for Still Alice and kind of won at life too when she joked, “I’ve heard it said that winning an Oscar means you live five years longer. If that’s true I want to thank the academy because my husband is younger than me.”
We need all the laughs we can get
We were reminded of the laughs we lost as stars paid tribute to the late Robin Williams’ comedic genius, and we sorely missed giggling at Joan Rivers’ cutting Fashion Police comments (although we probably gasped a whole lot less, too). Which, as far as we’re concerned, is just another sign JLaw can’t ever be allowed to miss an Oscars again. Please Hollywood, bring her, and lots more laughter, back.
Meike Abrahams is a freelance writer and editor living in London. She’s only a little obsessed with Jennifers (whether Lawrence, Lopez or Aniston). See more of her work at hey-meike-a.tumblr.com.
