Ratile Mabitsela on her sacred return to self, navigating grief and rewriting her story

From reality TV star to purpose-driven mentor, Ratile Mabitsela has lived many lives in one. In this honest and intimate Q&A, she opens up about stepping away from The Mommy Club, navigating widowhood, finding power in pageantry, and rediscovering joy in motherhood.

With grace, grit, and God at the centre, Ratile reflects on the healing journey that’s reshaping her, not into who she was before the pain, but into the woman she was always meant to become.

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Viewers react to part 1 of The Mommy Club S3 Reunion

Glamour: Life has evolved quite a bit since The Mommy Club. What has stepping away from reality TV opened up for you — both personally and professionally?

Ratile: Stepping away from reality TV gave me the space to breathe, reflect, and reintroduce myself to myself. Personally, I was able to strip away the noise and get honest about what I truly needed — peace, healing, and alignment. Professionally, I stepped into my power as a mentor and coach, pouring into others while finally giving myself the room to rebuild beyond the screen. It’s been a sacred kind of becoming — quiet, but powerful.

Glamour: You’ve since immersed yourself in the pageant world, now as a coach and mentor. What drew you to that space, and how has it helped shape this new chapter in your life?

Ratile: Pageantry has always been about more than crowns and gowns for me. It’s a platform for transformation. Coaching others helped me rediscover parts of myself I had silenced — grace, discipline, and voice. In helping young women refine their presence and mindset, I began reparenting my own wounded parts. It’s not just coaching — it’s ministry through beauty, purpose, and poise.

Glamour: Pageantry is often about poise, confidence and presence. How have those elements helped you navigate your own journey — particularly in this season of rebuilding and redefining?

Ratile: Poise has taught me to hold myself together in public even when I’m falling apart privately. Confidence reminded me that even in loss, I am still worthy. Presence taught me that healing begins when you stop running. These elements have been my lifelines. I’m not performing strength anymore — I’m learning to live it authentically, messily, and courageously.

Glamour: You’ve experienced deep loss in such a personal and public way. What has healing looked like behind the scenes, when the cameras were no longer rolling?

Ratile: It’s been raw, sacred, and painful at times. Behind the scenes, healing has looked like sleepless nights, hard therapy sessions, journaling through tears, and choosing to show up for my children even on days I didn’t feel like myself. It’s been about grace — giving it to myself, even when the world expected perfection. I’m healing in public, but it starts in private.

Glamour: How did you begin to find yourself again after becoming a widow — not just as a mom, but as a woman figuring out who she is now?

Ratile: I began by unlearning everything that taught me I wasn’t allowed to put myself first. Widowhood stripped me bare, but it also revealed a version of me I hadn’t yet met — resilient, discerning, and deeply rooted in purpose. I stopped asking “Who am I without him?” and started asking, “Who did God call me to be before the world interrupted?” That’s the woman I’m now becoming.

Glamour: What has surprised you most about grief — especially the quiet, in-between moments that no one really talks about?

Ratile: The silence is loud. It’s not just the big cries — it’s the small reminders, like a scent that takes you back. What surprised me most was how grief softens you. It breaks you open in ways that also make you tender to other people’s pain. And in those quiet moments, I’ve found unexpected strength.

Glamour: Being a newly single mom comes with its own complexities. How have you found strength in parenting through grief, and what helps you stay grounded for your child?

Ratile: My children are my why. Watching them grieve and still laugh, still dream, still hope — that’s where I draw my strength. I stay grounded through prayer, through routine, and by allowing myself to be human in front of them. They don’t need a perfect mom; they need a present one. And healing alongside them has taught me that love, even through loss, is still our superpower.

Glamour: What are some small but powerful moments that have reminded you it’s okay to feel joy again?

Ratile: Laughter in the car. A new lipstick that makes me feel like myself. Seeing my daughter Tumišo, do cartwheels outside. Watching my sons (Thorišo & Tlotlišo) build superhero figures with their tiny hands. Hosting my first workshop again. These moments — tiny as they seem — have been my reminders that joy didn’t die with him. It just needed permission to return.

Glamour: As someone who’s constantly evolving, what does fulfilment look like to you today — in your work, your motherhood, and your healing?

Ratile: Fulfilment is impact. It’s using my pain to create safe spaces, and using my voice to remind others they’re not alone. In motherhood, fulfilment is raising emotionally aware children who know it’s okay to feel. In healing, it’s waking up and choosing life again — every single day, even when it’s hard. I don’t chase perfection anymore; I chase purpose.

Glamour: For women going through unimaginable loss, what would you say to them — especially those who feel unseen or overwhelmed by the weight of it all?

Ratile: You are not crazy. You are not weak. You are not alone. Loss is a language only the heart can understand — but you don’t have to heal in silence. Let people love you. Let God hold you. And when you’re ready, use your voice. There is no timeline for healing, only permission to feel, and the courage to choose yourself again, even if it’s one breath at a time.

Glamour: And finally, what’s bringing you peace in this season? And what are you most hopeful for as you step fully into your next chapter?

Ratile: Peace is knowing I don’t have to return to who I was before the pain, which liberates me in a way. I get to become someone softer, wiser, and more aligned. I’m finding peace in service — in mentoring young women, in parenting with intention, and in creating meaningful moments. I’m especially excited about hosting my upcoming Women’s Day event on the 9th of August — a healing and empowering gathering for women who’ve walked through fire and are ready to rise. That day will be a reflection of everything I believe: that healing and impact can co-exist. That beauty can rise from brokenness. And that this next chapter will be nothing short of divine.