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How to choose the best ring bearer for your wedding

Ring bearers are always the most adorable members of any wedding party. The origins of the role actually have their roots in ancient Egypt, where a young boy would be enlisted to carry rings to a couple as a symbol of love, fidelity, and fertility. While the role still includes the all-important task of getting the wedding bands down the aisle, today, it’s more of an excuse to bring a sweet touch to your wedding and include a beloved young family member or friend in your special day. While it is not a required role in the wedding party, the ring bearer can be a crowd favourite at the ceremony—without taking the spotlight away from you and your spouse-to-be, of course.

Want to know the ins and outs before you ask a ring bearer to join your celebration? Read ahead to get a breakdown of what a ring bearer’s responsibilities are—and who can take on this special role.

Who Can Be a Ring Bearer

The role of the ring bearer may still have an air of tradition, but it can also vary based on the couple. Typically, the ring bearer is a young boy or girl and is either the couple’s own child, a relative, or a close family friend. Their main responsibility is to carry the wedding rings down the aisle, usually on a decorative pillow or in a small box. The rings will then be held by either the best man or the officiant for safekeeping until it is time for the couple to exchange the wedding bands. Depending on the couple’s preferences, they can stay near them with the rest of the wedding party as they exchange vows or could go back to sit with their guardians after the rings are delivered.

While there are no strict rules regarding the age of the ring bearer, most are between the age of three and eight—where they would be old enough to walk easily down the aisle but still maintain the charm the role requires. Of course, a ring bearer doesn’t necessarily have to be a young child. A few couples may change up tradition by asking a grandmother or grandfather to carry rings down the aisle, have a friend take on the challenge as a humorous song plays, or even have their dog or cat serve as an honorary ring bearer for the celebration.

Ring Bearer Attire

Your ring bearer’s outfit for the day can vary based on your personal preference for the look and feel of your ceremony. They could wear an outfit within your dress code like a tuxedo or suit, or wear an ensemble of your choosing that fits within your wedding décor’s color palette. While the couple doesn’t haven’t purchase the outfit for the ring bearer, it is a nice gesture to offer it to the guardians of your littlest wedding party member.

If you aren’t purchasing the outfit, you can give the parents guidelines of what you would like them to wear and provide options within a variety of price ranges to accommodate their budget. You can even give your ring bearer a tie or pocket square as a gift on the day of the wedding so they feel even more excited by the prospect of being part of your ceremony.

Ring Bearer Responsibilities

Like any member of the wedding party, ring bearers need some preparation before the big day. While most members of the wedding party might only need the rehearsal to get ready for the ceremony, very young ring bearers should work ahead of time with their parents to practice their walk down the aisle, get comfortable with the ring pillow or box, and understand their role in the ceremony. As a unique twist, a couple can also ask ring bearers to carry a sign along with the rings or a bouquet of flowers. Make sure to communicate with the ring bearer’s guardians to make sure they are aware of the exact task and ask for their support on the day or if they may need to help their child down the aisle.

It’s also a nice gesture to ask your ring bearer to take on this role yourself rather than having their parents or guardian pass on the message. If you live near each other, ask them to be a member of your wedding party in person and present them with a small gift like a toy or special part of their outfit as a way to make them feel like they have a special responsibility in your wedding. Live far away? Send a gift in the mail and have their guardians give it to them as you have a FaceTime or Zoom call as you ask them.

While a ring bearer can stay for the rest of the wedding, couples hosting adults-only celebrations may request that the ring bearer leave after the ceremony, cocktail hour, or a portion of the reception. In this case, it can be a nice gesture to cover or arrange childcare for the evening if the parents would like to stay for the rest of the celebration.

Original article available on Vogue US

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