Many modern relationships don’t walk the conventional route of being monogamous. In recent years, we’ve seen many couples being more open to relationships that offer more freedom to explore sexual and/or romantic connections with other people. We’ve seen instances and variations of “modern love” and ever-evolving relationships in books like Conversation with Friends by Sally Rooney, movies like Vicky Cristina Barcelona, and shows like Netflix’s Easy. While there isn’t a single definitive structure to being in open relationships, here are some essential dos and don’ts you can remember when threading that road.
1. Do be honest
Start by being honest about your emotions and your feelings. If you’re feeling insecure, jealous, or unsafe, communicate this with your partner and address these issues. Make sure to set clear ground rules that are agreed upon by both of you. Discuss things like what’s acceptable and what’s not. This will help manage everyone’s expectations and be on the same page.
2. Do communicate
Communication is a cornerstone of any relationship. Be clear about your reasons for wanting a polyamorous relationship and how it can help your current relationship. Whether it’s about being open about desires or boundaries, now and then, check in with yourself and your partners about their expectations and experiences to ensure everyone is okay and comfortable.
3. Do maintain emotional connections
Being in an open relationship doesn’t mean your emotional intimacy takes a backseat. Nurture emotional connections with your primary partner. Spend quality time with your partners to maintain a sense of connection and strengthen the emotional bond between you and your partners.
4. Do practise safe sex
Always put health before anything else. Prioritise safe sex practices to protect yourself and everyone involved. Don’t feel awkward about discussing getting regular check-ups done and prevention methods. If you have multiple sexual partners, then it’s essential to uphold sexual health standards and have transparency about them to avoid any health risks.
5. Don’t assume anything
Assuming that your partner is comfortable with an open relationship can be a significant issue in maintaining a healthy and honest relationship with your partner. Assumptions are dangerous and can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Your partner may or may not be doing as well as you in this dating game. This is why it is wise to regularly check in and share each other’s thoughts and experiences.
6. Don’t put pressure
Pressure or coercing your partner into something uncomfortable can lead to distrust and resentment. Mutual agreement and enthusiastic consent are crucial in every relationship.
7. Don’t keep secrets
To practise transparency and honesty in a relationship, especially polyamorous ones, it’s important not to keep secrets or withhold information, or even opinions, for that matter. Trust is a major foundation of a relationship; if that erodes, jealousy and insecurity creep up slowly, damaging any relationship.
Original article appeared on GQ India
