The line between being faithful to your partner and cheating on them used to be a very black and white one. If you were physically intimate with someone else, you’d cheated and that was that. These days, cheating has become a very grey area – particularly with regards to messaging. Is messaging (or its racier cousin, sexting) someone outside your relationship actually considered cheating? Our readers weigh in…
Absolutely 100% yes
“If you’re messaging something to someone who isn’t your significant other and you don’t want them to see, then yes, that’s cheating.” – René, 23
“Yes. Cheating is just as much about the intent as it is the deed.” – Chevone, 28
“If it’s something you wouldn’t do in front of your partner, it’s cheating.” – Sherina, 33
“In my opinion yes. As soon as you’re fantasising and sharing those sexual fantasies with someone else, you’re cheating emotionally.” – Janine, 38
“It’s definitely cheating. Why would you do that with anyone other than your partner?” – Caren, 43
“Yes it is. Sexting can sometimes even be worse because it’s cheating emotionally.” – Dominique W, 48
“The test is ‘does my partner know and/or care?’. Sexting isn’t cheating if they know about it and are OK with it. Different strokes for different folks. Every relationship has its own boundaries.” – Sarah, 21
“It all depends on perspective. If you’re sexting without your partner’s knowledge or consent, then it’s cheating. If your partner condones it or even perhaps benefits from it somehow, then it’s not cheating.” – Dominique T, 26
“If you can’t tell your spouse or partner, then it’s cheating. If you can, then hey, it’s not. It works for some people who like variety.” – Jill, 31
While opinions are divided as to whether sexting is sometimes OK or never OK, the consensus seems to be that if your partner doesn’t know about it, you’re doing something wrong. So if you’re wondering as to whether sending a flirty SMS would be cheating, think about how your loved one would react if they found out. If you know they’d be angry, hurt or disappointed, you already have the answer you’re looking for.
What should you do if your sex drive is different than your boyfriend’s? Find out here!