Kristina O’Neill and Laura Brown were two ambitious editors and besties who climbed the mastheads of major fashion outlets, like Bazaar and W, until they reached the top. Both editors in chief, their careers took a tough turn: They were fired. Brown was let go from her post at InStyle in 2022, and a year later O’Neill was canned by The Wall Street Journal Magazine.
The two eventually landed new gigs, but they had the idea to join forces and teach others what they learned the hard way: that “the setback is a setup” for an even better path. They lay it all out in their wildly popular book, All the Cool Girls Get Fired: How to Let Go of Being Let Go and Come Back on Top, reframing getting laid off as a normal part of a modern career, not a mark of shame. The book offers a prescription for emotional recovery from being fired, as well as practical advice on how to turn the page and move forward with purpose.
At a moment when tech giants are cutting ranks, government jobs are disappearing, and the media industry is contracting (an estimated 1.1 million US jobs were cut in 2025), their advice remains timely. So much so that the two just launched a weekly series, The Cool Girl Briefing, offering notes on the current state of work, combined with their signature sharp advice. They spoke to SELF about career resilience—and the practical steps to take if you get fired.
Kristina O’Neill: Getting fired is a highly traumatic life event. It’s akin to a death—of parts of your identity, your routines, all the rituals you’ve become very used to. There is an acknowledgement of loss that needs to happen. Start by calling it what it is: Say that you’ve been fired and own that language. We believe so much good comes from saying what it is and talking about it. It’s a word that people know means you’re going through something, but only if you’re not sugarcoating it with soft language and pretending like everything’s okay.
Laura Brown: You’ve got to rip that Band-Aid off and say it. Some people wince at the term fired. But I think in order to clear things, you have to be clear—about what happened and what help you need—and that is going to fast-track you to where you need to go once you’ve given yourself some time to think. The faster you claim it and stop spinning it—like, “Oh, it was a change”—the faster you reclaim everything you’re going to do afterwards.
Brown: Number one, know you’re not alone. Sadly, no one has the exclusive on being fired, so don’t make this harder for yourself. You’re already carrying this ball of crap from losing your job, and all the responsibilities and all the things you have to manage—your money and your health care, and all the urgencies that you have to deal with in your life. So why would you take on another big heavyweight when you’re already carrying so much?
For women, sometimes the shame is because it’s taken us so much longer to get to where the dudes have been the whole time. But lose the shame. This is what I said to my team—35 of us got laid off at once: Everything you’ve learned, everything you’ve done, all your skills, all your achievements are yours. They [don’t belong to] the company that let you go. So that’s a mind shift that women have to make, and bring a bit of dude into it—a bit of ego and be like, now all this stuff you learned working is yours.
O’Neill: I think a lot of [the shame] is in your head. Laura and I went out right after we were fired quite publicly. We went to events where we saw our industry peers. I thought I was walking into the room wearing a scarlet F. I thought everyone was going to turn and stare at me. And then we realized, everyone’s going about their business. It was such a great reminder that so much of what we carry is self-inflicted, and that not everyone is talking about you. Part of the process [of moving forward] is showing up in places that might feel uncomfortable. Rest, but don’t retreat. You have to get your sea legs again because it is so important that you stay top of mind and in front of the people who can help you.
Some of my friends who’ve been fired are all in a group chat. Do you think that helps anger—or fuels it?
O’Neill: Anger is a normal reaction.…
Brown: But it can’t last forever. I had some of my team [in a group chat] and they would keep saying things and sending things and it’s unhelpful. It makes everyone feel icky. All you’re doing is letting this employer loom over your psyche. I had to tell a group of five or six people, “I’m not interested in this. You guys can go and talk amongst yourselves.”
O’Neill: It’s fine to stay friends with the people who might still be employed by the place that let you go and focus on nonwork conversations, but the last thing you need to know is what so-and-so said in a meeting that you weren’t even in and it has no impact on your life. Having the courage to exit the group chat is real. It is a very grown up, responsible thing to do for your mental health, to acknowledge that this doesn’t fill you up and just sort of festers and keeps the negative vibes going. You need to have a clear head to get in front of whatever comes next, and you can’t be looking backwards.
What advice do you have for women over 40 who’ve been fired and might be worried that age could affect their job opportunities?
O’Neill: Women over 40 have years of work experience under their belts. None of that gets taken from you when you lose your job. And I think it’s powerful to have that perspective, which I don’t think I would have had at 25 or 30.
Brown: You have more experience, more contacts, more ability, more skill, more maturity. And you stand taller on all of that work because you’ve spent more time doing it.
O’Neill: I think I’m better at my job than I’ve ever been.
Brown: It’s a head game. You can’t go into a room thinking you’re less than. You’re not going to be employed if you think you’re not employable. Our bloody stupid Instagram post saying “all the cool girls get fired” had ego in it. [Editor’s note: Brown has since deleted the post.] We were like, We are good and we were fired, and those things can coexist.
Aside from the book, are there some positives that came out of being fired?
Brown: I think one of the best things about being fired—and there aren’t many—is being reminded by everyone of how good and how valued you are. You get this avalanche of people reassuring you. If you’re honest about being fired, and put your hand up and say, “This happened to me,” your network does show up.
O’Neill: I’d say all that and sleep. Sometimes, when you’re grinding away at a job, your own health and well-being get pushed aside. So that was the one thing I appreciated. And when I was overwhelmed with all the things that I was trying to process and get through after being fired, and dreaming up what came next, it was nice to be able to take a nap.
Originally published on SELF.
