These are my tried and tested 7 ways of achieving an effective confrontation.
- Understand when it’s necessary
Confrontation is extremely necessary at times. The key is to know when it’s necessary and to not be petty. Gauge for yourself if what you want to be addressed is important to you, if it is, go ahead and confront the situation and individuals involved.
- Don’t confront while you are fuming
This is one of the most important things to consider when you want to confront something or someone. Don’t do it when you are heated, two reasons for this 1) You may end up just causing drama instead of putting your points across 2) Nothing done or said while people are angry and heated ever turns out well, in fact, you may end up making the situation worse.
- Don’t wait until the situation doesn’t bother you
As much as you shouldn’t confront while you are heated, don’t leave the confrontation to when you are not bothered by the issue. If you talk to someone about something when you are at ease with it, you may come across as not serious, they will in turn not take what you feel serious.
- Don’t do an ambush
Let the person you are confronting know you need to have a talk, don’t ambush them because that may lead to an ugly confrontation. Inform them in a text, email or even just say to them you need to talk about something prior to your meeting. Most confrontation requires face to face interaction. People can dismiss an email or WhatsApp, so where possible, do it in person.
- Write down the points you want to address, and even if things get heated, ensure you address the points.
- It’s okay for a confrontation to get ugly, but not physical
It’s okay for things to get heated during a confrontation, for you or the other person or persons involved to be defensive and have a little verbal drama. However, after the ‘drama’ is done, ensure the points you are confronting the individuals about are addressed and made clear. Don’t let the drama divert you, stick to your initial intentions.
- Put it in writing
Following the discussion put the points you have discussed in an email if it’s professional or text if it’s personal, this shows you had the talk and highlights where everyone stands.
This article first appeared in GQ South Africa, read the original here.
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