In a world that equates constant sharing with authenticity, many women are made to feel guilty or suspicious for choosing to live quietly. We’re told, “Why didn’t you post about that?” or “You’re so secretive.” Registered Counsellor, Melissa Davids, affirms that Privacy is not secrecy.
“Choosing to live privately is a powerful act of self-respect, not a confession of something to hide,” asserts Melissa. Enlightening that the key difference between privacy and secrecy is that the former protects and the latter conceals. She sheds more light below:
Privacy is a conscious boundary. It says, “This is mine to hold, to share when I’m ready, or not at all.” It’s about choosing who gets access to the sacred parts of your life your relationship, your healing journey, your dreams without explanation or apology.
Secrecy, on the other hand, involves hiding with fear, often rooted in shame or guilt. It says, “I can’t let anyone know this.” While privacy is empowering, secrecy can feel imprisoning.
A Culture Obsessed with Oversharing
Social media has blurred the line. We now measure connection by visibility. If you didn’t post it, did it really happen? If you’re not talking about it, is something wrong?
This is especially true for women. We’re expected to narrate our lives in real-time—to prove we’re in love, parenting well, doing “the work,” and thriving. But living in private doesn’t mean we’re hiding. It means we’re protecting what’s precious, tender, or sacred.
Privacy as Self-Care
Choosing to live privately is an emotional boundary. It can look like:
- Not announcing your relationship online.
- Choosing not to share your goals until they’re rooted.
- Keeping your healing journey personal instead of public.
This is not a lack of vulnerability. It’s discernment. Its strength.
Let’s Normalise This
Let's refrain from confusing privacy with secrecy, especially among women. Privacy is a form of self-love and mental clarity. It’s about knowing that not everything needs to be explained, defended, or displayed. It’s about creating space for inner growth without outside pressure.
So the next time someone accuses you of being “secretive,” remind yourself:“I’m not hiding—I’m honouring.”
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