Every year, Spotify releases a list of the 10 best sex songs available on the digital music service. Spotify data scientists look through all the sex-related playlists (think: sex toy store LoveHoney’s “Best Songs to Have Sex To”) on the service to see which tracks are being included and played. From there, they narrow things down to the 10 most-streamed sex songs. And voilà, sexy song list created.
This year’s list featured two Jeremih tracks, two Weeknd tracks, and two Trey Songz tracks—as well as songs by Rihanna, SoMo, Ginuwine, and Cheat Codes. I decided to masturbate to every single one of them over the course of a week so I could tell you firsthand which were actually worth bringing into the bedroom. (Spoiler alert: Most of them were.) Masturbating to the sound of silence can get a little boring after a while—at least, it can for me. So it’s nice to have a few songs to fall back on when I’m in need of additional stimulation.
1. Rihanna’s “Sex With Me“
This song is perfect for the beginning of any sexcapade—even one with yourself. As I listened to Rihanna confidently repeat the words, “Sex with me, so amazing,” I thought to myself, “Sex with me is so amazing.” I hadn’t orgasmed by the end of the song’s three minutes, but I did feel like a damn queen. So while “Sex With Me” was a fun listen during masturbation, I’d recommend it—and its confidence-inducing powers—specifically for foreplay. Because honestly, why not spend three minutes feeling yourself (figuratively, and maybe literally) before having sex?
2. Jeremih’s “Birthday Sex“
I listened to the songs in order, so I went straight from “Sex With Me” to “Birthday Sex”—a song that first came out when I was in high school and has remained a certified banger ever since. While “Birthday Sex” isn’t the first thing I’d think to put on while having sex (unless, you know, it’s my birthday), the grind-worthy rhythm and suggestive lyrics definitely set the mood—and did so better than any other song on this list.
As Jeremih sang the lyrics, “Feels good, but I know you want to cry out,” I heard myself gasp audibly (in a good way). I imagined myself having a DFM (dance floor make-out) with my partner, and things quickly escalated as Jeremih sang of “switching positions” and “getting ready for action.” Needless to say, this song activated a fantasy that delivered an orgasm fast.
3. SoMo’s “Ride“
When I lay down to do my second round of “research” for this article, I kicked things off with SoMo’s “Ride,” which I initially found pretty distracting. I didn’t think I’d heard the song before, so I was more focused on listening to the lyrics than on having a good time. But once I heard the chorus, I realized that I knew the song and I fully understood why it made the list.
With crooning vocals and lyrics like “I’m gonna take care of your body,” “Ride” is perfect for romantic, sensual sex. My concerns fell away, and I lost myself in the song, sinking into a gentle rhythm. I didn’t orgasm before the song ended, and that might be because I’m more into aggressive, passionate sex than softer, more emotional sex (though there’s a time and place for both). That said, I’d give this one a try the next time I’m sleeping with someone I’m super into.
4. The Weeknd’s “Earned It“
I moved on from “Ride” to “Earned It,” and I’ll admit—when I first saw this track on the list, I was pretty excited. Any song off the Fifty Shades of Grey soundtrack has to be perfect during sex, right? Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. The song’s pacing is pretty slow, so I couldn’t get into a comfortable rhythm. Plus, I kept picturing Ana and Christian having sex instead of, you know, me and my partner having sex, and that really threw me off. I spent a couple minutes waiting for this one out before ultimately skipping ahead to the next song. “Earned It” just wasn’t getting me anywhere.
5. Trey Songz’ “Slow Motion“
The next song was another slow jam, and I found myself regretting the decision to play the list from start to finish (rather than shuffling, or something). Trey Songz’ “Slow Motion” is a lot like SoMo’s “Ride”: perfect for the kind of slowed-down, intimate romance some people crave in bed. As we established earlier, I’m not one of those people—so having more than one gentle song on the list felt like overkill. If a sensual connection is your thing, “Slow Motion” might be more your speed than mine. But I couldn’t wait it out—my level of arousal was fading fast—so I skipped ahead again.
6. The Weeknd’s “Often“
I moved on to The Weeknd’s “Often,” which I knew would be a winner. I’ve actually masturbated to this song a few times before, and it’s always delivered. I was ready to break my losing streak. First of all, The Weeknd’s voice is hot as hell. Hearing him moan-sing verses gets me every time. Second, the lyrics are pretty graphic (lots of “p*ssy” mentions). This will undoubtedly be a turn-on for some and a turn-off for others, and needless to say, it’s a turn-on for me. It plays right into my aggressive/passionate fantasy thing, and it helps me visualize exactly what would be going down if my partner were with me. It took me one verse and one chorus to orgasm—so like, a third of the song.
7. Trey Songz’ “Neighbors Know My Name“
I kicked my third round of research off with Trey Songz’ “Neighbors Know My Name,” a song I’d never heard before. It took me a moment to settle in, but once I realized what Songz meant by “Neighbors Know My Name,” I felt motivated to be a lot louder. This would normally be a positive, but I live in a thin-walled apartment with two other girls, so I tried to keep it down. Seriously though, if lyrics like, “I swear we breaking our new headboard,” “The love we made, it feels so good, girl,” and “Scream my name, you do it so loud,” don’t get you going, I don’t know what will. I didn’t climax, but “Neighbors Know My Name” was an excellent opening act for the songs that followed.
8. Ginuwine’s “Pony“
I moved onto Ginuwine’s “Pony,” a 1996 classic that’s much more ideal for a night out than for actual sex. The catchy lyrics and iconic beat took me straight out of the zone. If you can keep yourself from lip-syncing the incredibly catchy chorus—”If you’re horny, let’s do it / Ride it, my pony”—and actually stay in the moment, you’re a better person than I. I forced myself to skip to the next song before I got so distracted that I stopped masturbating altogether.
9. Cheat Codes’ “Sex“
Next up was Cheat Codes’ “Sex”—an on-the-nose addition to any sex playlist ( it borrows Salt-n-Pepa’s iconic “let’s talk about sex, baby” lyric) that failed to deliver in the sexy scene-setting department. Cheat Codes’ beat was way too upbeat and clubby to bring into the bedroom. Like, you can’t even grind to this song—how do you expect to have sex (or masturbate) to it? When I caught myself imagining an innocent dance party with my friends, I knew it was time to skip ahead.
10. Jeremih “All the Time“
I went ahead and played Jeremih’s “All the Time,” which I had mixed feelings about. The song is pretty cool, but there was way too much happening sonically for me to focus on the task at hand. With all the reverberating vocals and unnecessary censor beeps, I was seriously distracted, and I wasn’t getting anywhere orgasm-wise. I knew it was over when Lil Wayne rapped the words “p*ssy for breakfast,” and I imagined a plate of actual breakfast instead of some kind of sexy morning cunnilingus situation. If you found some of the other songs on this list to be boring or simple, maybe “All the Time” is the kind of complex track you need in life. But it didn’t work for me, and I skipped ahead when I hit the halfway mark.
I also gave last year’s list a listen, mostly to see if any solid sex songs dropped off the radar between 2016 and 2017.
When my third round of research failed to deliver an orgasm, I consulted some of the sex songs that previously made the list. There was zero song overlap between the 2016 and 2017 Spotify sex playlists, and The Weeknd was the only artist to have tracks on both. I wouldn’t bother with Wale’s “Lotus Flower Bomb” (distracting vocals), Drake’s “Crew Love” (weird intermittent dance-y beat), or A$AP Rocky’s “L$D” (a surprisingly sweet song from A$AP Rocky, but the rhythmic gasps in the background were just too much). If you’re looking to expand your sex song selection, you might consider checking out The Weeknd’s “The Morning” and Ty Dolla $ign’s “Or Nah”—both of which made the 2016 playlist, and both of which have been on my personal masturbation playlist for a while now. “The Morning” and “Or Nah” feature The Weeknd’s sexy moan-singing and some seriously salacious lyrics. (“Do you like the way I flick my tongue or nah?” is about as tame as “Or Nah” gets.) And listening to them back-to-back led me to orgasm in no time.
The verdict? Most of Spotify’s sex songs live up to the hype, and I’ve already added a few of them to my sexy time playlist. (To be honest, I’ve now added Rihanna’s “Sex With Me” to all of my playlists. It’s a great song.) Sure, some of the tracks missed the mark, but the rest got me in the mood in a way the sound of silence just can’t. Now that I’ve road-tested them solo, I’m excited to bust some of these out the next time I’m with my partner—and I’m intrigued to see what next year’s list has in store.
Taken from Self. Read the original here.
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