Motivation Monday: From Financial Anxiety to Financial Clarity

Financial anxiety doesn’t always show up when things are falling apart, often, it lingers even when you’re doing everything “right.” Here, Chartered Accountant, Ayanda Mvandaba unpacks the psychology behind money-related stress, explaining why fear can persist long after financial stability is achieved.

The Psychology of The Panic

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Glamour: From your experience, how often do people feel anxious even when their finances are objectively stable?

Ayanda: It is incredibly common. It's called the "Phantom Poverty Syndrome." It’s like a phantom limb; the bank account has changed, but the nervous system hasn’t caught up. I see high-earning professionals who have six months of savings but still check their banking app with a racing heart. This happens because safety isn't a number—it’s a feeling. If your body spent years in survival mode, it doesn't just "relax" because you got a promotion. It keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Glamour: What financial red flags actually justify concern versus worries that are more emotional than numerical?

Ayanda: A Real Red Flag: If you are consistently spending more than you earn every single month and bridging the gap with credit, that is a structural fire that needs putting out urgently. An Emotional Red Flag: "I feel like I should be further ahead." This is usually comparison disguised as financial analysis. If your bills are paid and you are saving something, you are likely okay. They say comparison is the thief of joy – this is the case.

Glamour: Are there common money mistakes or blind spots that tend to fuel anxiety unnecessarily?

Ayanda: I would say the biggest one which most of us have suffered from is Avoidance. This is what is called “Ostrich mentality” when you put your head in the sand and hope the problem disappears. We think that not looking at the numbers protects us from stress, but the brain hates ambiguity. Someone said “Ambiguity looks like danger to the primitive brain”. When you don't know exactly what you owe or what you have or if your debit orders were all paid or if some bounced, your imagination fills in the blanks with the worst-case scenario.

Glamour: How can someone tell the difference between “being cautious” and “being financially anxious”?

Ayanda: Caution has a plan. Caution checks the locks on the door once before bed and then sleeps soundly. Anxiety checks the locks every 10 minutes. If your "caution" leads to action (like setting up an emergency fund), it’s healthy. If your "caution" leads to paralysis, hoarding, or an inability to enjoy the money you’ve worked hard for, it has tipped into anxiety.

The Systems of Safety

Glamour: What financial metrics give the clearest sense of safety?

Ayanda: Liquidity. Net worth is great for the ego, but liquidity (cash in the bank) is what calms the nervous system. Knowing you can cover a R10,000 emergency tomorrow without borrowing money changes your entire physiology. The "Sleep Well Number" is usually 3 months of essential expenses in an accessible account. It’s not an investment; it’s an anxiety buffer.

Glamour: Do you see patterns where financial anxiety comes from past experiences rather than current finances?

Ayanda: Almost always. We all operate on "Money Scripts"—unconscious beliefs we inherited from our parents. If you grew up in a home where money was a source of conflict, silence, or chaos, your adult body will interpret "dealing with money" as "entering a war zone." You might be earning millions now, but your body is still reacting to your parents’ arguments from 1995. We have to audit our money scripts in order to get to a place where finances are a tool that is useful for us.

Glamour: How much does lack of clarity or structure contribute to anxiety?

Ayanda: It is the primary fuel. You cannot regulate what you cannot measure. When there is no structure, every purchase feels like a moral dilemma: "Can I afford this coffee? I don't know. Maybe? Am I bad for buying it?" A basic plan—even an imperfect one—removes the constant decision fatigue. It changes the internal monologue from "Can I?" to "Is this in the plan?". In our 20s we are new to getting salaries and we are winging it. We need to learn from our bad decisions and have a plan in place.

Glamour: Can over-monitoring money make anxiety worse?

Ayanda: Absolutely. Obsessively checking your banking app or passive investments is a form of "scanning for danger." It reinforces the neural pathway that says, "I am unsafe, I need to stay alert." I recommend "Money Dates." Check your money once a week, at a specific time, with a cup of tea. Treat it like a meeting, not a compulsion. That being said – if you stick to the plan, then you can set your Money Dates.

The Path to Calm

Glamour: How do you help people who intellectually understand their finances but still feel anxious?

Ayanda: We stop looking at the spreadsheet and start looking at the body and the money scripts. I ask them, "Where do you feel this anxiety? Is it a knot in your stomach? A tightness in your chest?" We have to validate the fear before we can fix the maths. In these instances the budget is not just a maths problem. We thank the survival brain for trying to protect them, and then we gently remind it: "Look at the data. We are safe now. You can stand down."

Glamour: What financial systems or habits tend to reduce anxiety the most over time?

Ayanda: Automation. Willpower is a finite resource; don't rely on it. Set your savings and investments to leave your account the day your salary hits. When you automate your safety, you stop having to make the "right decision" every month. You just live on what's left, guilt-free. And trust me – you will learn to live within the budget of what is left. Discipline.

Glamour: Is having a long-term plan more calming than focusing on short-term numbers?

Ayanda: Yes, because short-term numbers are volatile. A long-term plan allows you to focus on the bigger picture. If you focus on the day to day like stock market dips, an expensive month fuel price increases, you will panic. If you focus on the the 10-year trajectory, you realize that the most things are temporary.

Glamour: Are there simple benchmarks that help people feel “I’m okay” financially?

Ayanda:

The Zero Date: Do you know the exact date you will be debt-free? (Even if it's 5 years away, knowing the date brings calm).

The Gap: Do you spend less than you earn? (Even if it’s just R500).

The Buffer: Do you have one month of expenses saved? If you have these three, you are objectively doing better than the majority.

Glamour: What’s the most reassuring thing you’ve seen help people regain a sense of financial calm?

Ayanda: The realization that "I am the asset." Anxiety usually comes from the fear of losing the money. The breakthrough happens when they realize: "I generated this wealth. If I lost it all tomorrow, I have the skills, the resilience, and the network to build it again." Money is just a tool. You are the generator. This is how I justified to myself going into full time entrepreneurship. If I fail, I can try again. I can dust off my CV. Once you trust yourself, the bank balance matters less.