Women In Charge: Bonang Matheba reflects on mother’s day, matriarchs and South African women

More than 42% of South African households are run by women. Children are raised not only by their mothers, but often also by both maternal and paternal grandmothers, great-aunties, aunties, girl cousins and sisters. Saying it takes a village to raise a child, especially in South Africa, is no understatement, and it's where the true power of community is born.

Bonang Matheba and her mother Charlotte Mokoena. Image: Supplied

For Bonang Matheba, founder of MCC brand House of BNG, this Mother's Day is both personal and profound. A daughter raised by matriarchs, she knows that the most powerful forces in any room are often the ones who never asked for applause. Having recently lost a family member to gender-based violence, she admits that while Mother's Day is cause for celebration, it is also a day of remembrance for the many women and mothers who are no longer with us.

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Bonang Matheba. Image:Instagram/@bonangmatheba

"In my house growing up, there was always a lot of women, lots of children and plenty of laughter. We had lots of gatherings around food and each other. I was raised by matriarchs to be a matriarch, to be a leader, to be strong, to be hyper-independent, ambitious and an organiser of celebrations. It's probably why I chose to start my own bubbly brand and pursue a career that encouraged me to live life to the fullest. I am truly blessed to have been surrounded by such incredibly strong women who also taught me the value of community. And while we have lost a few of them along the way, it’s the one thing I never take for granted."

Believing every day should be Mother's Day, Bonang feels this is not only for sentimentality's sake, but for the permission it gives us. Permission to pause, permission to say the things we get too busy to say - before it's too late.

"We live in such a volatile environment in South Africa, where 15 women on average are being murdered every day, for what? Women are, after all, the spine of the community and of society. They are the nurturers and the foundation of our everyday lives. It's important that we celebrate them, to remind them just how great their impact has been and how much we value them. Without mothers, the world is lost. We forget where we come from, who we are and why we exist."

Both of Bonang's parents are Tswana. Her mother had three sisters and her father had five sisters, meaning she had between 12 and 15 aunts and 15 great-aunts. While everyone had a role to play in who she is today, Bonang gives thanks to her North Star, her own mother, Charlotte Mokoena. Recently retired, Mokoena served as Vice President of SASOL for many years. Now 65, she can finally rest and soak up the fruits of her labour, having started working at the young age of 14. Bonang describes her mother the way daughters describe people they have watched with awe for a lifetime, not from a distance, but up close, where all the sacrifices are visible.

"When you look back at her life, it is the most incredible life well lived. My mother has raised wonderful children. She's married to a wonderful man. She is the matriarch of the entire family, not just ours. She's incredibly successful, very educated, and has held numerous, very powerful positions in corporate South Africa."

In a toast to her, Bonang says, "I want to raise my glass to my mother because her entire life she gave and she deserves this." Asked what motherhood would taste like if she could bottle it, Bonang says it would be powerful, graceful and celebratory, bursting with flavour, exuding joy and fruitfulness. It's sweet. And while not yet a mother herself, Bonang recognises the value in taking care of the people who take care of you. "Having community is very, very important," she says, "and that's what the world could learn from my mother."

In her own words, she raises a glass not only to her mother, but to all the women who built her, and to every woman doing it quietly, beautifully, without recognition. To all the mothers in South Africa and around the world, she says: "Stand in your power. Make sure the decisions you make, the choices you make, the places you go all come from a place of empowerment. Come from deep in your heart. Let them be things that will bring you joy and fulfilment, and be brave in that choice."