Nokwanda Khumalo shares how personal loss, intentional conversations with her daughter, and a passion for authentic leadership led to the creation of Soul Speak and her inspiring new book project, Leading with Grace.
Born out of deep personal reflection, grief, and a desire to foster meaningful dialogue within her own family, Soul Speak has rapidly expanded from a set of intimate conversation tools into a powerful movement spanning books, experiences, and social impact initiatives. Here, Nokwanda reflects on how vulnerability, active listening, and storytelling are redefining modern leadership, and why creating safe spaces for open dialogue is more essential now than ever.
GLAMOUR: Soul Speak began with a simple belief that meaningful conversations can change lives. What was happening in your own life that led you to create the platform?
Nokwanda: Soul Speak really began at home. As a mother of two daughters at very different stages of life, I became increasingly conscious of how easy it is to live alongside the people we love without always knowing what is happening inside them. After losing my dad in 2021 & mom in 2023, I was left with so many questions…my girls were asking me questions about my own parents I couldn’t answer at times. The stark reminder of the belief “We still have time” hit me. We don’t.
I wanted to create more intentional conversations with my daughter’s conversations beyond “How was school?” or “Are you okay?” I wanted to know what they were dreaming about, what they were afraid of, how they saw themselves and what they needed from me. My eldest daughter, Khanyo, and I began exploring that idea together in March 2025 and Soul Speak was born. What started as something deeply personal, born from grief and a greater connection in our own family, became a much bigger question: what might change in our relationships if we simply had better conversations?
GLAMOUR: What did you feel was missing from the way we connect and communicate with one another?
Nokwanda: What’s missing is depth. We talk at surface level.
We are probably more connected than we have ever been technologically, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we feel more known or understood. We communicate constantly, but we don’t always connect. I felt we needed spaces where people could move beyond the surface and ask the questions we often don’t know how to ask: Who are you becoming? What are you carrying? What do you wish I understood about you? When do you feel most loved? Sometimes the difference between knowing someone and truly seeing them is simply one brave question followed by the willingness to listen to the answer.
GLAMOUR: Soul Speak started as conversation tools designed to help people connect more deeply. When did you realise it had the potential to become something much bigger?
Nokwanda: I never saw it as something big. It was just a passion project. We initially thought we were creating conversation cards, but as people began using them with partners, children, siblings and parents, we realised the cards were simply the doorway.
And that doorway was to connection.
People weren’t telling us about the cards; they were telling us about the conversations the cards had unlocked. Some people didn’t even get through all the cards in a deck. People learnt things about their children. I learnt things about my own kids. I made this with my daughter. Through a dinner conversation with my husband and eldest daughter we realised Soul Speak didn’t have to be defined by only 1 type of product. It could become a platform for human connection, through books, conversations, experiences and, ultimately, impact.
GLAMOUR: As the conversations unfolded, you began hearing stories of courage, identity, resilience, grief, ambition, motherhood and healing. Was there a particular story or conversation that stayed with you and changed the trajectory of Soul Speak?
Nokwanda: Yes. In 2025 my daughter was in grade 11 and was recently elected as part of the 2026 Student executive. She was nervous about this thing called leadership. She was unsure of herself & thought leadership was this big thing for only certain people. She also referenced it from seeing me lead in the corporate world as the only way. I wanted to change that, and show her that leadership is in all of us and it starts with leading yourself.
Leadership as I see is about leading families, communities, businesses…it’s multi faceted. I believe I am still on my path and growing in leadership so I knew I needed to collaborate with other people to share their perspectives on this topic & that’s how Leading with Grace was born. Grace was my mother’s 2nd name, she was the 1st leader I ever knew & in this season of my life I feel I carry her within me, hence the title of the book.
GLAMOUR: Why do you believe storytelling is such a powerful tool for connection and transformation?
Nokwanda: Because stories allow us to recognise ourselves in one another. You see pieces of yourself in other people and it helps you realise “It’s ok”.
Facts inform us, but stories make us feel. Someone can have a completely different life from mine, and yet I can hear them speak about losing a parent, raising a child, questioning herself or finding courage and suddenly think, I know that feeling. Stories collapse the distance between us and help us connect. Sometimes hearing somebody else’s story doesn’t just help you understand them, it helps you understand yourself.
GLAMOUR: Leading with Grace was born from the realisation that people were carrying stories that deserved to be heard. What does “leading with grace” mean to you, particularly in a world that often rewards loudness and certainty?
Nokwanda: Leading with grace is not about being soft or avoiding difficult decisions. For me, it is the ability to hold strength and humanity at the same time. Accountability & humility in how you treat others can live together.
It is understanding that leadership is not simply about what you achieve, but about what happens to people in your presence and under your leadership. Did they become better people? Did they see the art of the possible for themselves? Grace allows room for courage and compassion, ambition and humility, confidence and uncertainty. It says that I can lead decisively without losing my humanity.
In a world that can reward being the loudest person in the room, I am increasingly interested in a different kind of power, the kind that listens, creates space for others, remains curious and doesn’t need to diminish anyone else in order to lead. One of my personal leadership principles I learnt a few years ago is “Serve the people who serve the people”. I believe as a leader you need to leave a space better than you found it and serve the people you have been entrusted to lead.
GLAMOUR: How do you balance vulnerability with leadership, especially when you are expected to be strong for others?
Nokwanda: I’ve had to unlearn the idea that strength means having no cracks. One of my favorite authors, Brene Brown, says “you cannot get to the other side of courage if you can’t walk through vulnerability”. I have never forgotten that principle. Leadership needs you to be courageous. You are often faced with making decisions with incomplete information or data, pretending you know it all will not help you. You gotta get vulnerable if you want to go far and reach a point of courage. Life has taught me that some of the most powerful moments of leadership begin with saying, “I don’t know,” “This is difficult,” or “I need help.”
Vulnerability doesn’t mean placing the burden of your emotions onto the people you lead. There is still a responsibility that comes with leadership. But it does mean allowing people to encounter the human being behind the title. I’ve discovered that people don’t necessarily need a perfect leader. They need one they can trust.
GLAMOUR: Soul Speak creates space for people to reflect on who they are and how they relate to others. What have you learned about yourself through creating these spaces?
Nokwanda: That I am still becoming, I’m not a perfect leader. Soul Speak began with me wanting to create questions for other people, but so many of those questions have turned right back towards me. Who am I outside of my roles? What am I carrying that no longer belongs in the next chapter of my life? What kind of mother, wife, leader, friend and woman do I want to be? What does success mean now?
I’ve learnt that self-awareness isn’t a destination. We change, our lives change, and therefore the questions we need to ask ourselves must change too.
GLAMOUR: We often talk about the importance of being heard, but how important is learning to listen, truly listen, in building healthier relationships and communities?
Nokwanda: It may be even more important. We often listen to respond, defend, advise or fix. True listening asks something much harder of us: to temporarily put down our own perspective and become genuinely curious about someone else’s.
And being listened to is incredibly powerful. You feel seen. There is dignity in being able to finish your story without someone correcting it, competing with it or rushing to solve it. We all need to be seen, especially by those we love most. I think many relationships could change if we stopped asking, “How do I respond to this?” and started asking, “What is this person trying to help me understand?”
GLAMOUR: Many of the themes at the heart of Soul Speak: grief, motherhood, identity, ambition and becoming, are deeply personal. How do you create spaces that feel safe enough for people to bring their whole selves?
Nokwanda: Safety starts with permission.
Permission not to have the perfect answer. Permission to pass. Permission to cry, laugh, change your mind or simply sit with a question. Permission is also grace in my view.
I don’t try to force vulnerability. I don’t believe vulnerability should ever be extracted from people for the sake of creating a powerful moment. I try to create the conditions for honesty: thoughtful questions, confidentiality, empathy, no judgement and deep respect for the fact that everybody’s story belongs to them. When people know they don’t have to perform, they often choose to reveal themselves naturally.
GLAMOUR: What has the response to Soul Speak taught you about what people are yearning for right now?
Nokwanda: I think people are yearning to be seen. I think people need connection. Real connection. There is so much noise around us, content, notifications, opinions, achievement, comparison and underneath all of it, I think there is a very human desire to sit across from someone and feel, You see me. You hear me. I matter here.
The response to Soul Speak has reminded me that meaningful connection isn’t outdated. If anything, I think we are becoming hungrier for it. Technology will continue to change how we communicate, but our fundamental human connection will always be needed.
GLAMOUR: Your work sits at the intersection of storytelling, leadership, reflection and human connection. How do you see these seemingly different worlds coming together?
Nokwanda: I don’t see them as separate.
Leadership is ultimately about people. Relationships are about people. Storytelling helps us understand people. Reflection helps us understand ourselves.
Whether I’m sitting in a boardroom, around my dinner table with my family, in conversation with women from Leading with Grace, or creating something through Soul Speak, the underlying question is remarkably similar:
GLAMOUR: How do we create environments in which people can become more fully themselves?
Nokwanda: That’s the thread connecting all of this work for me.
GLAMOUR: What does “becoming” mean to you, and why do you think so many of us struggle to give ourselves permission to evolve?
Nokwanda: Becoming means accepting that I am allowed to outgrow versions of myself that once served me. I can’t change my mind. My dreams can change.
I think we sometimes become prisoners of our own identities. The successful executive. The good mother. The strong woman. The dependable friend. Once the world knows us in a particular way, changing can feel almost like betrayal.
But becoming requires us to ask, Who am I now?
I’m learning that evolution doesn’t invalidate who I was before. Every version of me brought me here. But I don’t owe the world a version I have moved on from. My life is not a group chat where we all need to agree. There is enormous freedom in giving ourselves permission to keep becoming.
GLAMOUR: Soul Speak has grown into an ecosystem of books, conversations, experiences and impact initiatives. What is your bigger vision for the platform?
Nokwanda: My vision is for Soul Speak to become a platform that helps people live, love and lead more intentionally.
I see books and conversation tools, but I also see intimate experiences, digital conversations, content and spaces where stories can travel across generations, cultures and geographies. And increasingly, I want conversation to translate into impact. Leading with Grace is an example of that evolution. The stories of 32 women don’t end on the pages of a book; proceeds from the project are helping seed the Grace Leadership Fellowship, through which we want to invest in the next generation of leaders. The Fellowship will fund young people in higher education who show potential and promise. Talent is everywhere but opportunity is not. That is the ecosystem I dream about: conversation that creates connection, connection that creates understanding, and understanding that ultimately creates action.
If Soul Speak can help people know themselves better, understand one another more deeply and then use that connection to create something meaningful in the world, that would be an extraordinary legacy.
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