This is how you can navigate the festive season as a single mom

Holidays are a great time to reconnect with friends and family. For single moms, however, it can also mean additional responsibilities. The kids are at home, which means you have to be plugged in. And if your help is away, this could add another layer of stress. We’ve roped in Irini Agathagelou-Klopper, counselling psychologist at Netcare Akeso George, to offer a lifeline

Cognisant of the challenges single moms are faced with during the busy festive season as they try to manage their responsibilities, Irini says it’s important to set realistic expectations. “Prioritise activities that are most meaningful to you and your children. Don’t feel pressured to do everything. Focus on a few memorable traditions rather than trying to tackle every event or gathering.”

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Glamour: How can single moms ensure they don’t feel overwhelmed by their responsibilities?

Irini: Set and communicate boundaries. Often, single mothers feel pressure to meet every expectation, from family traditions to social gatherings. Setting clear boundaries and communicating them to others can help reduce this pressure. For example, if attending every holiday event feels overwhelming, explain to family members that you’ll only attend certain gatherings to prioritise quality time with your children and reduce stress. Remember, setting boundaries is not selfish; it’s a necessary step for mental well-being and maintaining energy levels.

Glamour: How can they find support when they don’t have their usual help, such as nannies?

Irini: Community resources and local support groups: Look into local community centres, church groups or community groups that may offer holiday activities or support for single parents. Many of these groups organise events and provide a supportive environment where single moms can connect and share child care.

This is how you can navigate the festive season as a single mom, Image: Supplied

• Seek emotional support from a peer network:

Single mothers often benefit from connecting with others who understand their unique challenges. Support groups, either locally or online, can provide a safe space to share experiences, gain encouragement and feel less isolated. Studies have shown that emotional support is a strong protective factor against stress, so leaning on others who relate can foster resilience during challenging times.

• Consult with a professional:

Find a therapist you form a connection with and prioritise your mental health by seeing your therapist as regularly as needed for additional support.

Glamour: What advice do you have for single moms to ensure they carve out time for self-care during the holidays?

Irini:

Practise quick mindfulness exercises:

Short breathing exercises or mindfulness practices can help reduce stress. Just a few minutes of deep breathing or meditation each day can offer a mental reset, helping you stay calm and energised during a tough schedule.

• Recognise self-care as essential, not optional:

Many single mothers may feel guilty about taking time for themselves, especially in a busy season. However, self-care is fundamental to psychological well-being and effective parenting. Reframe self-care as a responsibility to your children as much as to yourself. Engaging in regular self-care practices, whether through exercise, journaling, or relaxation techniques can help lower the production of stress hormones, such as cortisol, improve mood and enhance the capacity to respond to challenges with patience and empathy.

Occupational Therapist at Akeso George weighs in...

Glamour: How can single moms better manage responsibilities during the busy festive season?

Bianca: “Failing to plan, is planning to fail.” Make sure to plan your annual leave according to the school holiday calendar if and where possible. Budget in advance for the festive season and buy in bulk beforehand, as grocery prices tend to escalate during the festive season. Shops will be very busy, adding to increased financial expenses and time spent standing in queues or traffic. Consider online shopping where possible. Incorporate children in the planning and build-up to the festive season by creating family traditions suited to your situation. This could also include making home-made gifts or cards together. Young children will remember how they felt during holidays, more than they will remember what they received.

Glamour: How can single mothers find support when they don’t have their usual help, like nannies?

Bianca: If family members are around, they could be of great support to help look after the children while the mother has to work.

• In the absence of child care or family close by, consider friends that you would trust to help out. Depending on your relationship with your neighbours, they might be an option too.

• Sometimes schools or churches run holiday programmes for children. These are often available right up until Christmas and usually include meals and fun activities for the children to enjoy.

• Discuss your situation in advance with your employer if you are working. They might be more empathetic about your situation and give leave preference to working mothers, especially if there is no alternative available to look after your children.

Glamour: What advice do you have for single moms to ensure they carve out time for self-care during the holidays?

Bianca: There’s a saying that you can’t pour from an empty cup. If you are tired, feeling overwhelmed and burnt out, it will not only have an impact on your mood and mental health, but also on how you care and provide for your children. Make sure to prioritise your self-care as vital and not a ‘nice-to-have’.

• Self-care doesn’t need to be pricey or time-consuming. Find what works for your family and is still in line with activities you enjoy. Don’t underestimate a relaxing bubble-bath, or getting your nails done. There are even mobile spas that can come to your house if you don’t have the option of someone looking after your children.

• Ensure you get enough sleep and time in the sun, and move your body often (walking the dog, stretching, gardening, hiking, or swimming, etc).

• Do your food and meal preparation in advance to allow for more free-time