Self-love isn’t a spa day or a trending affirmation, it’s a daily practice of boundaries, honesty and nervous system regulation. Here, 8-figure life coach, movement maker, and soon-to-be author, Shoshanna Raven unpacks why so many women struggle to sustain self-love, the small habits that quietly build unshakeable self-worth, and how tending to yourself first can transform your relationships from reactive to resilient
Glamour: Why do so many women struggle to maintain self-love practices long-term?
Shoshanna Raven: So many women struggle to maintain self-love long-term because it isn’t about a one-off ritual or a cute affirmation—it’s a daily, messy, unsexy practice of self-trust, self-honesty, and self-respect. Life gets busy, emotions get messy, and without consistent reflection, boundaries, and alignment, it’s easy to outsource your worth to others again. Old patterns, cultural conditioning, and fear of being “too much” or “selfish” creep in, pulling you back into people-pleasing, overgiving, or self-judgment. True self-love requires showing up even when it’s uncomfortable, even when you’re tired or triggered, and leaning into practices that reconnect you to your body, your emotions, and your own voice—daily choices that remind you: I am enough, I am seen, and I am the authority in my own life.
Glamour: What are the most effective daily habits for building authentic self-worth?
Shoshanna: The most effective daily habits for building authentic self-worth aren’t flashy—they’re consistent, grounded, and embodied. Start by checking in with yourself each morning: notice your energy, your needs, and what matters most that day. Practice radical self-honesty—acknowledge what you feel, what you want, and where you’re avoiding truth. Set and honor small boundaries, even in tiny interactions, to remind yourself your time and energy matter. Include movement, breath, or meditation that reconnects you to your body and intuition. And every day, actively celebrate your wins, your presence, and your courage—not as a performance, but as proof that your worth is inherent, not conditional. Over time, these habits create a nervous system anchored in confidence and self-respect, so you show up fully in life and in relationships without needing external validation
Glamour: How does consistency in self-care impact emotional resilience?
Shoshanna: Consistency in self-care isn’t just a “nice-to-have”—it’s the foundation of emotional resilience. When you consistently tend to your body, mind, and energy, you’re training your nervous system to stay regulated instead of reactive, even in stress or conflict. Simple daily practices—movement, breathwork, reflection, setting boundaries, or small rituals of self-nourishment—act like deposits into your emotional “bank account,” so when life gets messy, you have the inner resources to respond rather than react. Over time, consistency builds trust in yourself, deepens self-love, and creates a sense of internal safety, making you less dependent on others to stabilize your emotions and more capable of navigating challenges with grace, clarity, and grounded presence.
Glamour: What role do boundaries play in sustaining self-love?
Shoshanna: Boundaries are the backbone of self-love—they’re how you physically, emotionally, and energetically protect your inner world. When you clearly define what you will and won’t accept, you stop giving your energy away to situations, people, or habits that drain or diminish you. Boundaries aren’t about shutting others out—they’re about showing up fully for yourself and modelling the respect you deserve. They allow you to engage in relationships and experiences from a place of choice, fullness, and alignment, rather than fear, guilt, or people-pleasing. In essence, boundaries are how self-love moves from an idea into a living, breathing practice that shapes every area of your life.
Glamour: How can self-love habits reduce conflict and resentment in relationships?
Shoshanna: Self-love habits reduce conflict and resentment because when you are anchored in your worth, needs, and boundaries, you no longer outsource your emotional stability to others. You communicate more clearly, pause before reacting, and respond instead of react, which minimizes misunderstandings. By tending to your own needs first—through reflection, self-compassion, and personal accountability—you prevent the buildup of unspoken frustrations and expectations that often spark conflict. Essentially, self-love lets you show up whole, regulated, and generous, so your relationships are grounded in choice and connection rather than depletion, blame, or resentment.
Glamour: What simple practices have the biggest long-term impact?
Shoshanna: The simplest practices often have the deepest, longest-lasting impact because they anchor you in your own presence and worth daily. Things like checking in with yourself each morning, noticing how you feel, what you need, and where you’re giving too much; setting one small, non-negotiable boundary each day; journaling or voice-noting your wins and your lessons; and closing your day with gratitude for how you showed up—these seem small, but over time they rewire your nervous system to trust yourself, honor your needs, and radiate that stability into your relationships. Consistency compounds: these tiny, daily acts of self-honesty, self-respect, and self-compassion become the backbone of authentic self-love and create ripples that shift how you live, love, and lead.
Glamour: How does self-love influence how women ask for their needs to be met?
Shoshanna: Self-love fundamentally changes the way women ask for what they need because it grounds them in clarity, worth, and presence. When you truly value yourself, you stop asking out of fear, guilt, or obligation and instead communicate from fullness—calmly, confidently, and without apology. You can articulate what you need clearly, follow through with your boundaries, and trust that your needs are valid, knowing that the right people will respond with respect. Self-love transforms asking from a place of scarcity or negotiation into a radical act of honesty and self-respect, and that energy alone shifts how others show up around you.
Glamour: How can women integrate self-love into busy, demanding lives?
Shoshanna: Integrating self-love into a busy life isn’t about adding more to your to-do list—it’s about making small, intentional choices that anchor you in your worth throughout the day. It’s in the little moments: taking a few deep breaths before answering emails, speaking kindly to yourself when the day gets chaotic, honoring your need to rest even when everything “demands” you show up. Self-love in action looks like saying no without guilt, creating micro-rituals that recharge your energy, and choosing alignment over autopilot. It’s not about perfection—it’s about consistently showing up for yourself, even in small ways, so that your presence and energy carry into every relationship, decision, and experience.
Glamour: How do self-love habits evolve as women grow and change?
Shoshanna: Self-love habits evolve as women grow because as you expand, your needs, boundaries, and desires shift—and your practices shift with you. What once nourished you at one stage might feel insufficient or even misaligned later, so self-love becomes about continual recalibration: noticing what fuels your energy, what supports your emotional regulation, and what reflects your current values. Over time, these habits move from being conscious “check-ins” to embodied ways of showing up in life, where choosing yourself isn’t a struggle—it’s automatic, fluid, and deeply integrated into how you lead, love, and create.
Glamour: What’s one habit you’d recommend starting today that could transform relationships?
Shoshanna: One habit I’d recommend starting today is daily self-check-ins with radical honesty—taking even five minutes to pause and ask yourself: How am I really feeling? What do I need right now?—and then communicating that clearly to the people in your life. When you get honest with yourself first, you stop outsourcing your needs, stop over-giving, and stop tolerating misalignment. This simple practice shifts relationships from confusion and expectation into clarity, trust, and deeper intimacy, because now you’re showing up fully, without collapse or people-pleasing, and inviting others to do the same.
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