Women In Charge: Chef Kerry Kilpin’s life as mom and executive chef

Set on Steenberg Farm in the Constantia Valley, home to the 5-star Steenberg Hotel & Spa, a 2025 recipient of a Michelin Key for a 'very special stay' and named among Condé Nast's top ten hotels in Africa, Executive Chef Kerry Kilpin leads the kitchens at Tryn and Bistro Sixteen82 with a style that is refined, nature-led, and deeply connected to place. Yet her most important role begins long before service starts. Between school runs, menu development, and family life, she has learned that balance isn't something you find. It's something you continually create.

For Kerry, mornings begin in two worlds at once: the home she shares with her husband James and their two young sons, and the kitchens where she leads two high-profile teams. "A typical day starts early," she says. "I catch up on emails, read handovers, and get an overview of the previous day at both Tryn and Bistro Sixteen82. Then it's family mode: wake the kids, breakfast, ready for school. I'm fortunate that James is very supportive and hands-on, managing the drop-offs while I head to the kitchens."

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By 7am, Kerry is fully immersed in Steenberg life: managing staff, checking menus, sourcing produce, and ensuring every plate reflects her standards. By 5:30pm, she is back in 'mom mode', picking up her children, preparing supper, packing lunchboxes, and overseeing homework. Evenings may include a brief moment with her husband for dinner or a TV episode, but Kerry admits much of the time is still punctuated by restaurant messages and emails; a reminder that the modern chef's life is rarely a straight line from work to home.

Yet Kerry believes motherhood has enriched her culinary work, not complicated it. "Cooking at home is simpler and instinctive, planned around time rather than perfection," she explains. "It's about feeding my family well, creating routine and comfort. That same approach has filtered into my professional cooking. I'm less interested in overcomplicating dishes and more focused on flavour, clarity, and food that feels good to eat."

Her creative process, she says, is influenced by both ingredients and her lived experiences. Limited time has honed her decisiveness and instincts. Moments away from the kitchen, whether running above the vineyards or immersing herself in nature, give her the mental space to reflect and innovate. "Life, like cooking, moves in cycles. You can't force either," Kerry observes. "That perspective has brought calm and restraint into my food, and ironically, that's where creativity shines most clearly."

Kerry's view on leadership, too, has evolved. She sees clear parallels between raising children and leading a kitchen. "Before, I thought good leadership meant always being in control. Parenthood quickly teaches you that control is often an illusion. You learn patience, flexibility, and the importance of listening before reacting. Everyone on a team carries something you may not see. That awareness changes how you manage people. I strive to lead with more compassion, clearer communication, and realistic expectations."

Work–life balance in hospitality remains uniquely demanding, and Kerry is candid about redefining success. "Perfection used to mean being everywhere, controlling every detail. Now it's about consistency, honesty, and creating environments where people feel supported and valued. At home, it's the same. Not every meal is a masterpiece, not every day is calm. What matters is showing up when it counts."

Kerry's priorities are clear: family, wellbeing, and connection. Exercise is a non-negotiable, whether a run along the dam, a jog above the vineyards, or active weekends with her children. These moments are essential, she says, for being present both at work and at home.

Through it all, Kerry hopes her children witness the joy in pursuing passion alongside responsibility. "I want them to see that doing something creative and demanding can be deeply fulfilling, and that passion, discipline, and creativity can exist together. You can care about your work while showing up for the people who matter most."

She also hopes for broader change in the industry. "The idea that long hours equal commitment needs to shift. Flexibility and support allow teams to thrive without sacrificing balance or wellbeing. At Steenberg, I've been fortunate to work in an environment that values this; where responsibility is shared, people are supported, and high standards are still achievable. When teams are trusted and looked after, everyone benefits."

In the kitchens of Steenberg, the school runs, and the quiet moments in between, Kerry Kilpin exemplifies a new generation of chefs: leaders who are ambitious, creative, and uncompromising, yet deeply human. Her life is a reminder that true excellence isn't measured only by plates or accolades, but by the courage to create, connect, and nurture in every sphere of life.