As the busy end-of-year season approaches, it's easy to feel the pressure mount. This often results in the "strong woman" archetype, where we believe we must handle everything without showing signs of weakness. But as a new report from 1st for Women shows, this path is not only exhausting - it’s unsustainable.
The "Her and Now: Insights into the Women of South Africa 2025" report, the first in an annual series, reveals a quiet revolution is underway. Women are redefining what it means to be powerful, embracing "softness" as a form of strength. The report found that while 90% of women are perceived as resilient, a staggering 68% feel that others rely on them every single day. This creates a culture where self-care is seen as selfish, with 64% of women feeling guilty about spending money on themselves.
The solution isn't to work harder; it's to work smarter and softer. The most radical act you can perform is to be soft - to set boundaries, listen to your body, and prioritise rest. Here are tips to help you combat burnout as you head into the final stretch of the year.
Reclaim the right to exhale
One of the most powerful insights from the "Her and Now" report is that 96% of women believe the right to exhale is as important as the drive to achieve. Yet, 43% rarely get uninterrupted time for themselves. This year-end, actively schedule moments of rest. These aren't just breaks; they are essential acts of self-preservation.
Practical Tip: Start small. Instead of thinking of "exhaling" as just a break, treat it as a non-negotiable appointment with yourself. Schedule it on your calendar, set a reminder, and protect that time with the same commitment you would for a work meeting or a doctor's appointment. During this time, practice "mindful moments." This means fully engaging in whatever you're doing. For example, if you are sipping your coffee, pay attention to the warmth of the mug in your hands, the aroma, and the taste. This practice helps train your brain to be fully present, making those short breaks feel more restorative.
Build your sisterhood and lean on your support system
The report powerfully highlights that 97% of women "show up" for other women, even when it's difficult. It's an incredible testament to the power of female solidarity. But in the midst of caring for everyone else, it’s easy to forget to extend that same courtesy to ourselves. True strength is not about carrying unlimited weight alone but about sharing burdens with those you trust.
Practical Tip: Go beyond simply asking for help and actively "practice mutual aid." This shifts the dynamic from simply receiving help to participating in a reciprocal exchange. Initiate a system with a trusted friend or family member where you each commit to helping the other with a specific task, whether it's childcare, running an errand, or just being a sounding board. For example, you could offer to pick up groceries for a friend one week, knowing they will do the same for you next time. This intentional back-and-forth not only lightens the load but also strengthens the bonds of your support system, making it easier to ask for help in the future.
Acknowledge your reliance burden
The report reveals a profound paradox: while 90% of South African women are seen as resilient, a significant 68% feel that others rely on them every day. This constant state of being depended upon creates an invisible emotional and mental load that is a direct path to burnout. Acknowledging this burden is the first step toward releasing it.
Practical Tip: Master the art of "graceful delegation" but move beyond just delegation and "proactively set boundaries." Delegation is simply about giving a specific task to someone else, but setting a boundary is about protecting your personal resources - your time, energy, and mental space - before the burden is placed on you. Practice using phrases that are firm but kind. For example, instead of saying "I can't take on this task, but I'm happy to help you find someone who can." This practice empowers you to manage your own bandwidth and prevents the "invisible load" from accumulating in the first place.
Confront the guilt of self-care
The report found that 64% of women feel guilty for spending money on themselves. This guilt often makes self-care feel like a luxury rather than a necessity. The feeling that you haven't "earned" rest or comfort is a common driver of burnout. It’s time to reframe self-care as a non-negotiable part of your well-being.
Practical Tip: Challenge the guilt by reframing the narrative in your mind. Instead of thinking of a massage or a new book as a "splurge," view it as a critical "wellness investment." Start with a small, guilt-free act like taking an extra 30 minutes to read before bed or enjoying a long, uninterrupted bath. These small acts of self-prioritisation are a form of resistance against the constant pressure to give.
Redefine your "Goal-Setting" and financial freedom
The "Her and Now" report highlights a powerful disconnect: while 88% of women believe financial independence is key to happiness, more than six in 10 lack the financial support to achieve their goals. This creates a cycle of stress and burnout. True financial freedom isn't just about earning more; it's about aligning your goals with your values and gaining the autonomy to pursue what truly brings you joy.
Practical Tip: Instead of setting ambitious, all-or-nothing financial goals, start by focusing on what you can control. Dedicate a specific, guilt-free amount of money each month - no matter how small - to a "joy fund." This fund is for experiences or items that contribute to your well-being, whether it’s a course, a weekend trip, or a new hobby. By prioritising your joy as a line item in your budget, you’re not only building financial independence but also consciously investing in a happier, softer version of yourself.
This year-end, let's redefine success not by what we endure, but by the peace we cultivate. Burnout is out, and a quiet, powerful revolution of softness is in.
