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How to find calm in everyday life (including 'earthing' and automatic thinking)

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With a hectic career, family life and social calendar, it can be difficult to find calm amidst the chaos.

Whilst it might not seem like it, one expert believes calmness is all around us if you just know where to look - and finding it will be hugely beneficial for your  health and wellbeing.

Sophie Golding has penned How To Find Calm - a collection of tranquil tips, soothing statements and relaxing activities to help reach a state of joyful and mindful serenity.

Here, she shares her top tips for finding calm in modern life...

 

YOUR MIND IS A POWERFUL TOOL

The average human brain contains approximately 100 billion neurons, which work together to create more than 100 trillion connections. Yet, despite (or perhaps because of) the brain’s complexity, many people encounter a common dilemma: we can get so caught up in our ability to interpret and process multiple scenarios and problems that we have difficulty noticing the silence – the silence behind our cognition, behind our constant internal dialogue and behind the tangle of automatic thoughts that can disrupt our inner peace. Learning how to move beyond the noise of the mind and enter that quiet space can help to restore your inner calm in an increasingly chaotic world.

 

AUTOMATIC THINKING

We have perhaps as many as 70,000 thoughts every day. That’s a lot of thinking – and much of it is automatic. The first step to finding calm is recognizing that these thoughts are not facts: they are simply your mind attempting to interpret the world around you. Because of this, you don’t have to believe everything you think. A weight will lift from your shoulders the moment you truly know this.

 

OVERRIDE YOUR CURRENT THINKING

Don’t believe every thought you have. For example, the thought “I’m not good enough” is neither helpful nor true. When it pops into your head, take a moment to think of some examples that prove otherwise.

 

CULTIVATE A POSITIVE MINDSET

Do you find that phrases such as “I hate Mondays” are the first to pop into your head each day? If you’ve slowly spiralled into a pattern of negative thinking, it’s time to start cultivating a more positive mindset. Start to challenge those negative thoughts, by reframing them in a more positive light. For example, do you really hate Mondays? It’s likely that good things will happen during the day, such as that first sip of hot tea or lunch with a friend. Focus on these aspects, rather than making sweeping negative statements, and seek out positive news stories to give yourself a boost.

 

MAKE IT A HABIT

The more you override negative thought patterns, the easier it will become. Of course, we all go through difficult periods in life, but over time, you will find it easier to adopt a positive mindset in the face of adversity.

 

Things you can do to help you switch off and unwind

MAKE TIME FOR SIMPLE PLEASURES

Scattering each day with small moments that make you happy is a fantastic way to escape stress. From using a zingy and refreshing shower gel, to wearing your favourite jumper, do something that puts a smile on your face.

HEAD FOR A WALK

Walking can do wonders for your mental well-being – in fact, regular walks are proven to improve your self-esteem and overall mood, as well as lowering stress, anxiety, fatigue and depression. Try a gentle stroll to calm your soul.

HAVE A LONG SOAK IN THE BATH

Slipping into a warm bath at the end of a long day is wonderfully restorative and peaceful. Add your favourite aromatherapy oil or bubbles and light some scented candles for an extra dose of calm.

GET LOST IN A GOOD BOOK

There’s nothing like curling up on the sofa with a page-turning novel to help you feel calm. Indeed, studies have shown that reading can help to reduce stress levels. So, go on – dive into a new or favourite book and get lost in its story.

HAVE A SOCIAL MEDIA DETOX

Constantly checking online social platforms can be potentially damaging to your self-esteem, and leave you feeling more lonely and anxious. So have a detox, even just for one day each week, to reconnect with both yourself and others in a more genuine and compassionate way.

CREATE A TO-DO LIST

Writing down everything you need to get done each day, and then crossing it off the list once completed, can help you to feel less chaotic and more in control, as well as providing evidence of all you’ve achieved that day. Be realistic, though, to make sure you don’t overload yourself.

HUG A LOVED ONE

Physical contact is scientifically proven to lower blood pressure and boost levels of oxytocin (the “love hormone”) in the body. A quick hug from a loved one or friend could be a great calming influence.

HAVE A LAUGH

Laughter can be the perfect antidote to a stressful day, relaxing the body and releasing feel-good hormones to create a natural high. Try watching a TV comedy or listening to a funny podcast, and enjoy a good belly laugh!

TRY MINDFUL COLOURING

Colouring is a wonderful way to unwind. There are plenty of adult colouring books available to help you become more mindful as you find your creative groove, so pick up those pencils and rediscover a childhood love.

TRY “EARTHING”

Spending time barefoot can be incredibly grounding. Try going barefoot each time you stand in your garden, or when you visit a park or beach. Visualize yourself connecting with the earth and imagine any stress melting away.

LOOK UP

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a moment to step outside and look up. What can you see? Perhaps it’s buildings – homes, office blocks, monuments or skyscrapers – rising up from the ground

where you stand; maybe it’s treetops, an interlacing of leaves and branches. What then? Can you see sky? Is it cloudy? Sunny? Take a moment to breathe in the ever-expanding space above you. Taking a short while to appreciate the vastness of the sky can sometimes put our own issues or problems into perspective, making us realize they are perhaps not as significant as we thought they were.

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