If you find learning how to use sex toys to be a daunting task, you’re not alone. I’ve tested over 1,000 in the last decade and am well aware that it can feel extremely overwhelming to try a new toy, especially if you’re a beginner to vibrators. That’s why I’m here to help. Learning how to use a vibrator, especially a more basic one, isn’t as complicated as some instruction booklets make it seem. Here’s my advice on how to use sex toys based on the most common types on the market, as well as recommendations that I firmly believe belong in everyone’s nightstand. Remember: You’ll want to get comfortable, and be patient with yourself. It takes time to figure out what angle and pressure feels good for you—but your sexual pleasure is well worth the effort. (Pro tip: A water-based lubricant is great to have on hand as it reduces friction, relaxes you, and can be used with most silicone sex toys.)
How to use a clitoral vibrator
What they are: Vibrators that primarily stimulate the clitoris externally; the most common types include bullet vibrators, palm vibrators, wand vibrators, and finger vibrators
Who they’re best for: Anyone who likes direct clitoral stimulation
How to use them: Grasp the clitoral vibrator’s body (or tether it to your fingers, in some cases), and trail it across the nipples, vulva, or head of the penis to get in the mood. You can do this solo or with a partner. Then, starting at the lowest intensity, press the vibrator’s tip lightly against the clit, going in small circles or strokes, before slowly increasing pressure, speed, and trying out new vibrational patterns. If you’re using a wand vibrator, you might want to dampen its intensity by using it through fabric like underwear or a bed sheet.
How to use a suction vibrator
What it is: A vibrator that creates the feeling of suction around the clit through puffs of pressurized air; also called air-pulse vibrators and clit suckers
Who it’s best for: Anyone who prefers indirect clitoral stimulation and/or the feeling of oral sex
How to use it: Suction vibrators are also technically clitoral vibrators—but without the direct contact with the clit. Slip the wide mouth of the vibe around the clit; it should hover, but not touch it. Once you turn it on, the head will stimulate with pressurized air over the clitoris that mimics the feeling of a mouth. Start on the lowest and most gentle setting, then adjust as you become more acquainted with the sensation. It’s worth noting that suction vibrators tend to have a slower build, as opposed to direct-contact clitoral vibrators.
How to use a G-spot vibrator
What they are: Vibrators that can be used internally to target the G-spot
Who they’re best for: Anyone who likes G-spot stimulation
How to use them: After you’ve applied lube, gently insert it into your vagina. G-spot vibrators and sex toys are designed with a curve that easily locates the G-spot (a small bundle of nerves inside the vagina that can feel really good when pressed). Once you’ve reached the area—it will be sensitive to the touch—turn on the toy, starting at the lowest intensity, before experimenting with stronger vibrations. Stroke the G-spot in circular motions, up and down, side to side, or with slow thrusts—whatever feels best to you.
How to use a dual-stimulating vibrator
What they are: Any toy that stimulates more than one erogenous zone at the same time (rabbit vibrators are a classic example, as they provide both G-spot and clitoral stimulation)
Who they’re best for: Anyone who likes G-spot and clit stimulation at the same time
How to use them: If you’re playing with a C-shaped dual-stimulating vibrator, first apply lube to the arm that will fit inside the vagina to hit the G-spot. To use a rabbit vibrator, that lube goes on the large shaft of the toy. Next, line up the external arm (or “ears” in the case of many rabbit toys), with the clitoris. Start out at the lowest intensity for both arms (many have motors you can separately control, but I recommend keeping them in sync at first), then work your way up in intensity before turning to cycling through different patterns. Stroking or thrusting movements tend to work best for dual stimulators. For some, dual stimulation is a one-way ticket to the elusive blended orgasm.
How to use sex toys for penises
What they are: Sex toys that stimulate the penis and/or prostate (common types include male masturbators, cock rings, and prostate massagers)
Who they’re best for: Anyone who has a penis, although cock rings can also be used on strap-ons too
How to use them: Each type of toy for the penis is used quite differently. Playing with a vibrating cock ring (a.k.a. a penis ring)? Apply lube, slide the toy around the penis until it sits at the shaft, and then turn it on to experiment with its intensities and patterns. It restricts blood flow to the penis, which can prolong orgasm. (It can also be used as a clitoral stimulator.) To use a masturbation sleeve (also known as a male masturbator or a stroker), insert the penis into the sleeve and test out its vibration modes; the inside of the toy mimics the feeling of a blowjob. Prostate massagers can be used to internally stimulate the prostate (a.k.a. the P-spot, a bundle of nerve endings in the rectum that can lead to orgasm when stimulated). No matter what type of penis toy you choose, lube should always be part of the equation.
How to use anal sex toys
What they are: Sex toys that can be used in the anus (typically butt plugs, dildos, and anal beads; many dildos can be secured to the body with a strap-on)
Who they’re best for: Anyone who enjoys anal stimulation
How to use them: Apply a generous amount of lube to the toy, then very slowly and gently insert it into your or your partner’s butt. Beginners to anal sex (and even those who are experienced) will want to start with a small butt plug or dildo and to take their time with insertion. If you feel pain at any point, stop. You might need to add more lube, to try a different angle, or opt for a more petite toy. If the toy vibrates, start it on the lowest vibration setting before gradually exploring stronger intensities and patterns. First-timers, however, might want to stick with a non-vibrating anal toy as they adjust to the sensation.
Original article appeared on GLAMOUR US
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