Nelisa Ntabeni opens up about life, love, and lessons on Married at First Sight SA

Over the past 10 weeks, Married at First Sight SA has become one of Mzansi’s most talked-about reality shows. It's sparked national conversations by holding up a mirror to South African relationships, unpacking everything from complicated family dynamics and infidelity, to power struggles, unresolved ex drama, and the growing pains of emotional and physical intimacy.

We recently caught up with Nelisa Ntabeni, who’s quickly become a fan favourite in her relationship. Her marriage to Themba has been dubbed the fairytale of the season – and she didn’t hold back as she dished on life behind the scenes, what it’s really like being married to a stranger, and everything in between.

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What is manifesting? does it work or is it just a myth?

Why did you join the show?

I joined because I’ve always believed in love and marriage, even when life didn’t make it easy. When the opportunity came, I saw it as a chance to trust the process, step out in faith, and allow the experts to match me with someone who could see me beyond the surface. Saying yes to the experiment was me choosing hope, and reminding myself that love is still worth believing in.

How did you prepare yourself for this experiment?

Marriage is God’s institution, and I didn’t want to step into it without His approval. I prayed and fasted, asking for His signs, and once I received them I never looked back. I also had honest conversations with myself, reminding myself that marriage requires patience and grace. I knew I couldn’t control everything, but I could show up authentically and fully commit to the journey. That gave me peace, knowing I had done everything I could to prepare my heart for this step.

Themba and Nelisa on Married at First Sight SA . Image: Supplied

What did you learn about yourself during this experiment?

I learned that I’m stronger than I thought, and also softer than I allow myself to be. I learned that vulnerability is not a weakness, and that my calmness and emotional honesty can carry me through difficult moments. More than anything, I learned that showing up as my true self, flaws and all, is enough, and it can actually be the very thing that makes love possible.

Before joining the show, how was your dating life?

My dating life was very quiet, to be honest. And yes, it’s true that I came into the show hungry, and I shared that with the girls at the table. For me, that didn’t come from desperation, it came from honesty. I value my time and energy, so I don’t engage in casual dating. I wait until it feels right. I’m not for everyone, and not everyone will get to experience me. I wasn’t rushing into relationships because I didn’t want to entertain something that wasn’t intentional. I knew what I wanted and what I didn’t want, and I wasn’t prepared to compromise on the wrong things. That clarity gave me the confidence to step into this experiment without fear.

What went through your mind when you first saw Themba?

I remember thinking, “Wow, this is really happening.” I felt calm, curious, and hopeful all at the same time. There was a gentleness about him that made me want to lean into the moment instead of running away from it. In that instant, I felt like my decision to trust the process was being rewarded.

What advice would you give to anyone wanting to find love in this way?

Be open-minded but also stay true to yourself. Don’t try to perform for the cameras or for people’s opinions. Be honest about your intentions, because love is not about perfection, it is about partnership. At the end of the day, being genuine will attract the kind of love that is truly meant for you.

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Why should people keep watching?

People should keep watching because this season is full of realness. You’ll see the highs, the lows, the tears, the laughter, and the growth. It is not just entertainment; it is an experiment that asks hard questions about love, family, and faith. Viewers will see that marriage is not a fairytale; it is a commitment that requires courage, and that makes the journey worth watching.

How are you preparing yourself for the reunion?

I am preparing myself for the reunion by staying grounded, praying for peace, and reminding myself that I can only speak my truth. A reunion can bring up old emotions, but I know who I am and I know what I stand for. My focus is on keeping my dignity intact and trusting that my truth will speak for itself.